Monday, September 28, 2009

24 years

24 years yesterday...

My love, my reason for being turned 24 yesterday. My heart ached to be with him as I knew he sat alone on his birthday. He'd been away in Cali for work for the past two weeks...the longest we've ever been apart. He sat in the LA airport alone as he waited for his flight...alone as his flight delayed, and delayed and delayed. I fought back tears as he gently told me he wasnt going to be making it home until the next morning...that my plan to celebrate the one hour of his birthday we had together wasnt going to happen. His delay in the flight caused him to miss his connection. He was stuck in Atlanta on his birthday. And I wanted to cry. I'd held myself together for two weeks. The emptiness that I felt when we was gone I'd convinced myself I could handle for two weeks. Yesterday I began to fall apart. My heart was in California sitting in an airport. I wanted him home.

I'm not an emotional person. Growing up I was very "inward" so to speak. I kept everything inside me and in my journal. I didnt show pain, I didnt open up to others when I was hurting. It was me and my Father. Then Andrew swept me away. God used him to open my heart, to break down my emotional barriers. He became everything I ever wanted and needed, everything I prayed for since I was a little girl, and even more that I didnt. He became my journal; the rock that keeps me from flying away; he understands me when I dont quite understand myself. He loves me more than I thought anyone ever could. Ask around: I'm not emotional; I'm not fragile. Ask Andrew: I have a heart that's easily broken...I'm easily broken. He is my protector, my best friend. He's my calm, my compass, and my punching bag. He's the rock to my kite; he allows me to be whatever it is that I need to be.

Yesterday Andrew turned 24. 24 years he's walked this earth, God shaping him. 12 years ago my heart quickened, my face flushed as I had a crush on the cute guy in church...2 years ago, that same cute guy in church asked to be forever at my side, to weave his life into my own until our last breath. 1 year and 3 months ago today my heart changed as we declared our vows to one another. Yesterday Andrew turned 24 and I couldnt be there with him to celebrate. Today Andrew is home. Today, and the rest of the week, we'll celebrate his birthday as I attempt to make it up to him that I wasnt able to be with him on his birthday.

Happy Birthday my love...welcome home.

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