Reach Out

So, I'd promised a few entries back that I would be blogging about Bethany Dillon's new cd. The new CD launched yesterday {I think} and it's been on my iPod playing ever since. I thought this one would be like the others in the sense that they knock me to my face before a Holy Lord and draw out the part of me that thrives in pouring over scripture, in writing, in music, in thought. It's funny how God works! I thought this CD would impact me, but I wasnt prepared for how.

I've always found a familar tone underlying all of Bethany Dillon's CDs. She references stories in the Bible that seem to have gotten lost along the way of my childhood. For years I wanted to be Bethany Dillon. Okay so not BE her but ever since I was little I was writing, I wrote stories, lyrics...when I began playing piano I wanted to write songs. Bethany's CDs brought out that desire in me: the desire to grab my old journals with unfinished songs, brush off the dust from my piano and guitar and sit before my Father. God seemed to have given her the gift of speaking directly to my heart and I felt like her CDs were created for me, as if I was the only one alive that had ears to hear the truth and inspiration behind her lyrics. I listened to the new CD Stop and Listen with bated breath, waiting for everything to hit me and send me into a whirlwind of inspiration. But God had other plans.

I've been listening to Stop and Listen for two days. For two days I've felt like a bug in a jar. I feel like God has me...I'm held there in the palm of His hand and He's just waiting. He's watching me as I squirm under His gentle loving gaze... He waits for me to stop talking, to stop moving, to stop stressing over the insane to-do list I've created for myself as of late, to just be still so he can open the lid to my jar. I watched a video on youtube last night: an interview with Bethany Dillon about her new CD. Something shes said nearly brought me to tears and to fall on my knees right there in my office and beg to hear from my Father. "...learning to choose the good portion...the simplicity of what I'm called to do.His call is really simple and really radical; just to stop and listen."

The song Stop and Listen seems to have spoken to my heart first from this CD. "too many days I feel like I run on empty. I dont pay much attention until I crash and burn...I'd be a fool to forfeit the chance to take a moment for you to rise like the dawn over my cold tattered heart. Find me when I stop and listen."

Forgive my weakness.