Jonathan's Journey

Few things that I ever read evoke tears. And that's saying alot. I read all the time; ask Andrew, he'd tell you that reading is like air to me. I'm always reading something, or rather, inhaling. I'm not only a reader, I'm a fast reader. I can finish an entire 400 page book in a day or two depending on the amount of time I had to devote to it. I read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in a weekend when my dad first brought it home as a gift for me from one of his many TDYs.

That said: I've never read something that made me cry.

This entry is personal...but not for me. It's a story that I feel compelled to share. A story that's been shared many different ways over the past 30 days. It's the story of a baby named Jonathan.

Lauren and Greg are members of our Rocky family at church and members of the same Sunday school class as Andrew and myself. I dont know Lauren and Greg very well; I'm a quiet member of our class. I sit and learn, listen and watch. I remember seeing Lauren for the first time and noting her amazing hair and graceful body. {dont judge, I promise I paid attention in class} Lauren is carrying her second child, Jonathan and I remember thinking "she's gorgeous...I hope I look like that when I'm pregnant instead of the hippo I'm sure to resemble." Yes, those were my first impressions. Shallow isnt it? I've never talked to Lauren or Greg...actually, yes I have, I gave her a salsa recipe once. But I've never attempted to get to know them or share in their lives. I dont know what possessed me to read her blog...I dont even know how I found her blog. But I did. And that blog has changed something inside me these past two days.

Yesterday I logged onto www.jonathansbabyjournal.blogspot.com for the first time and began reading. I encourage any of you reading to read her journal from start to finish. But one particular entry brought tears to my eyes and felt as if someone had grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me. It's entitled: Another Lesson From the Journey. It's an entry where Lauren does what she does throughout the entire blog, she shares her heart. I cant express in words what this entry did inside of me. It....well, it broke me. I've always had a fear of pregnancy. Not of having children, mind you, but the 9 months of BEING pregnant. I dont know why this is a fear of mine; there are no histories of difficulties with the women in my family being pregnant, but for some reason. This is a fear generator for me. Upon reading Lauren's heartfelt words it hit me: this women is living out fear, pain, trials...and she's living them faithfully, she's trusting the Lord. She's walking in His footsteps, she's clinging to His robes, she's bowing at His feet. She and her husband walk hand in hand with their Father through what many in the world see as a curse. Their unborn little boy Jonathan has Trisomy 13, a fatal chromosome disorder considered "not compatible with life".

Jonathan, whose name means gift from God, has changed the way that I think and the way that I handle my fears towards pregnancy. That tiny little baby inside his mother's womb brings tears to my eyes when I think of him. Does he know that so many people have covered him and his mother and his family in prayer? Does he know that so many have celebrated his life when the world around him would only focus on the chance he may never have? Does he know that he is in fact a gift...and not a curse?

So, as I write this, Lauren is at the hospital being induced. I ask that any believer reading these words today would say a prayer for Lauren and Greg and their little boy Jonathan. While we all pray that he have a few moments of life in his mother's arms, there is a small prayer within me praying for that miracle...but larger than that, a prayer for Lauren's heart...that it would be protected and that she and her husband would be given unimaginable strength and understanding today as they wait.