Buying and Breathing

I think it's been keeping me calm...listening to you breathe at night. When you flinch and nearly snore, it makes me giggle as I stare at the ceiling. I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous that seem to whisk away into sleep so much faster than I can. The warmth of your arm around my waist is reassuring as my brain spins in a zillion different directions. We're buying a house...we're "growing up"...this feeling reminds me of when I was little and I was finally tall enough to go on the high diving board. I climbed all the way to the top of that ladder and looked down at the pool. Kids were lining up below at the ladder wondering what was taking me so long. I tip toed to the end of that spring filled board and looked down. No backing out...and if I was honest with myself, I didnt want to back out. I wanted to jump as high as I could! I wanted to feel the air rush by me and out of my lungs as I splashed into the water below. I stood there, ready to jump and took that last breath before the jump. That's how I feel...that last breath before the jump.

I love you Andrew. You're my perfect match. Our late nights at the gym, our dinners on the couch, our Criminal Minds marathons...you know what's good for me. I leaned over, whispered "I love you" and kissed the back of your neck, because it was all I could find amidst the comforter and your fuzzy green blanket. You moved a bit, your breathing settled and I let it calm me yet again. The last breath before the jump...so long as your jumping with me, I'm not afraid.