During my brief
"sabbatical" or whatever you want to call it, Andrew and I went through the book
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Now internet, this is huge...Andrew is in no way a book reader. I bought him a book when we were dating that he has still yet to read. Yeah, you heard me, four years ago I bought him a book and it still sits unread...this is a sore subject. But, over those four years I realized that Andrew is not a reader. If you can find a book on tape, he'll totally listen to it and love it - reading, not so much. I guess he missed out on the whole Reading Rainbow age or something
. So, when I asked him to read the Love Languages book, I was a little timid. I didnt want him to read it just because I asked and get nothing out of it.
But I totally wanted him to read it. My fix: we worked backwards.
*gasp* After taking the quizzes, I read the whole book and Andrew read the sections that were my love languages.
Viola!"Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."
"Words of Affirmation: Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten."
Ever heard of a couple with the same primary and secondary love languages? Look no further cause here we are! Andrew and I both crave quiet time...probably me a little more than him. I seriously feel like cannot breathe if I havent had any time with Andrew. This is probably why both of us are completely okay with doing everything with the other. I've had people comment on the fact that Andrew and I are almost always together. At the gym, shopping, movies, wandering around The Commons, groceries...it really doesnt matter what it is, so long as we're together. Now, words of affirmation - that's tricky. Andrew and I are both horrible at encouragement. Neither of us think "I should compliment that person on this". Sure, we think "Wow they look good" or "wow they're really good at that" or so on and so forth. But we never say it. And did I mention I am
horrid at receiving compliments? So imagine the hysterical fit of laughter when Andrew and I realized that both of our secondary love languages was words of affirmation. Yes, we both suck at it and we both crave it. So now we're learning how to express affirmation vocally.
Case and point. Yesterday Andrew and I maybe had two or three full conversations all day. The remainder of our time was spent at the gym and watching episodes of house while cuddling with the most adorable little fur ball in our house. And we were happy; perfectly content. Our ideal day? We'd wake up, make some breakfast, hit the gym, shower, eat an entire tub of hummus with veggies and pitas and then just wander around all day. Maybe we'd go to a movie, maybe we'd sit outside at the commons and watch people, maybe we'd go to Barnes and Nobles and putz...and we'd wrap up the day at a nice sushi dinner. Then we'd go home, play a few rounds of video games and watch tv shows till midnight. That's just how we roll. Quality time - it makes or world go round.
Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie
