Office Life

I was never created for an office. I firmly believe that with every ounce of my being. I wasnt created for stuffy clothes, time clock watching, water cooler chatting, or data inputting. I was created for more than that. HOWEVER, at the moment, it's what I'm called to do. And for the sake of my husband and the sake of being obedient to the call Christ has put on my life for the moment, I sit in a swivel chair for 9 hours a day, dreaming of the day when I can clock out for the last time.

Some of you readers may not have much insight into this part of my life. Which is mostly likely due to the fact that I dont advertise it. I felt that if everyone knew that I'm not a 100% full time photographer, that I would be viewed as a "lesser" photographer. I also felt that if I opened up this blog to my complaints, my mental resolve, my battle to drive 30 minutes to work in the morning, that I would be offering up excuses for why my photography isnt up to the standards I have in my head.

I work a Monday through Thursday job at a desk, in an office...neatly arranged into a dark corner with a space heater. Every morning I pack my purse with fruit and fiber one bars and start the drive to work. Along the way I get this amazing view. Every morning and every evening, even if the weather is atrocious, I drive across the Mid-Bay Bridge. It's said that Destin has the most beautiful beaches in the world. Whether or not that's true, that view, seeing the mass expanse of the waters, turbulent or calm, that makes my commute worth while. While every day I long to be free of my office way of life, I fight for a mentality of contentment, drive, and passion. I cant sit here forever.

One day I will work 100% a full time photographer. One day I will wake up and begin my day with my bible study and a hard workout at the gym. One day I will email, blog, edit, outsource, and research until dinner. I'm acutely aware every day of how badly I wish that day were today. For the time being it's not, but I'm going to push as hard as I can to make that dream my reality.

I was asked the other day if I resented my husband for my having to work full time at a job that wasnt my photography dream. I was dumbfounded by the question. Why would I resent the man I love for a momentary delay in a dream. Daily I live a dream with him. Sure it's got some nightmare-ish parts on occasion but I do: I daily live out a dream with him by my side. Do I resent him for my having to work? No. Never. If my working a non-photography-dream for a time is what it takes for him to get his degree, get a job with a company he loves, and make any part of his working forever easier, (okay, not forever but seriously, guys are raised with the mindset that they're going to work to support their family until they retire...at least my guy was) then I'm okay with that.

Dwell in Possibility...

Cassie