Words

Maybe you can understand what it's like...to sit here with my fingers on the keys and wanting to cry when nothing comes. I'm losing my perspective. I'm losing my words.

"Think of at least three things about the shoot that made an impression on you and write from there." That's what I used to tell myself to get started...it always worked. I'd write down three words or three sentences and the story would emerge from there. It was the world through my eyes...the clients through my eyes. I feel like my eyes are blurry - or worse, closed.

I'm sitting here with my fingers on the keys trying to form the stories, my perspective, my view. But it's not coming. I have the photos prepped and ready to blog. I have three sessions just awaiting their words...but I cant find them. Where has my perspective gone? Why cant I see?

Our Favorite Things: Soybutter

In highschool, Megan and I used to eat trail mix on a regular basis. We would sit outside of our Algebra class, on the cold laminate flooring fists full of trailmix. Whenever we'd run out, we'd go to Foodworld, but our usual bags of pretzels, nuts, M&Ms and raisins and then proceed to make the biggest batch we could. It was a running joke that whenever I ate peanuts my ears would get itchy. Not an irritating itch, but like that itch you get when your ears wont pop...just more, well, itchy. My parents would laugh and Megan would roll her eyes and we'd continue to eat the mixed goodness.

I'm allergic to nuts. It wasnt until a drive home from work one day that I realized this. Before I'd gotten in the car to drive home, I'd eaten one chocolate covered cashew. Just one. As I drove home, signing and belting out whatever happened to be on the radio, I realized something: I was biting my tongue...a lot. A call to my mother and a doctors appointment later, I was in fact allergic to pretty much any nut known to man. And coconut...because apparently, despite it's fruit-like existence, it's a nut. Usually this allergy isnt half bad. I'm not so allergic that cross contamination bothers me, and I'm not sure if Andrew will kill me if he eats a nut then kisses me {we dont test this theory} but if you look at it from the standpoint of how it saves you from many much poundage of deserts that you can no longer eat, it's great.

So, how is this related to this weeks post of Our Favorite Things. Well, there are a few things I miss. I miss Snickers, and Reese's Cups and Puppy Chow. {Enter heavenly angel's awe here} Then I found Soybutter! So, while I still cant eat a Snickers or a Reese's Cup, I can make Puppy Chow. And, I can eat a PB&J sandwich...just, it's called a SB&J in our house. So here's to nut allergies and the existence of soy!

Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie

Days Like This

The garage door slowly opened as I rambled on into the phone talking with Andrew. I was esctatic about a meeting with a bride and I called to tell him all about it. As I explained her colors and her details and ideas I had for their engagement session, the garage cleared the front of my car. For a split second I was confused and about to feel afraid there's a strange car in the garage!! I thought to myself, but a second later I realized that it was Andrew's car. Wait a minute, Andrew's car? Why is he home at 2pm on a Monday? So I asked him..."why are you home?" Turns out that there was a problem at work and they sent everyone home early with plans to figure it out tomorrow. I could hear the smirk on his face through the phone.

Hearing a smirk on Andrew's face is never a good thing. Okay, so it's totally a good thing but it makes me nervous every time. Nervous as in how you feel on your first date or on your prom night right before you come out of your room to see your parents and your date standing there...nervous as in right before you see your groom for the first time. It's that giddy nervousness, the good kind of nervous. So, before I got out of the car, I took a quick look in the mirror, suddenly extremely glad I had done some amazing eye make up that day and wearing my new $6.00 dress {yeah baby, you heard me, $6.00 dress!}

There were sunflowers on the mantle. And my husband standing there grinning from ear to ear. "I thought about just going to the gym but I decided to come home and surprise you instead." Insert my melting heart right about there.

"We're going to get sushi" he stated {yes, we know we have an addiction}. My first reaction, I must admit, wasnt the swooning reaction he might have hoped for. But luckily, I kept my thoughts to myself. My first reaction was the list of things I still had left to do today. You see, he threw off my groove! I still had two, maybe three hours before he was to be home and I had editing and an album to design, emails to return and not to mention the hotel room I had to book and the contracts I needed to mail. Didnt he realize that I couldnt just drop everything? I had clients to think about, work to do....and that right there stopped me in my tracks.

You see, I used to work an 8 to 5 job, Monday through Fridays. I hated it. Granted, it paid the bills and got us through out first year or so of marriage but what I wanted was a job with flexibility, a job where I was my own boss, a job with creativity and fun, a job that wasnt a job. I wanted to be a photographer. Those days when Andrew would call me at work saying he got home early and I'd look at the clock seeing that I still had three hours left at work, I hated those days. Or the days when Andrew had off and I didnt. Or the days when he'd bring me lunch because he was off and my lunch hour just wasnt long enough. I became a photographer for days like this...days when spontaneity was perfectly allowed and encouraged. Days when I could drop everything to build my relationship with my husband. Days when if someone needed me, I could be there at a moments notice.

About half way to our favorite sushi place, I finally pulled my thoughts away from my to-do lists. There was always tomorrow, I thought to myself. I can drink extra coffee, work twice as hard and think about everything tomorrow. Today, today I'm just going to enjoy the sunflowers on my mantle. I'm going to enjoy the spontaneity, the all you can eat sushi, the zombie duck hunt, the laughter, the love...days like this are what I'm going to remember.

Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie

Jocelyn and Ceci: Kiddos

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."

Andrew is the middle child. That right there answers a lot about his personality; he has one older sister and one younger brother. During some of those awkward moments in our dating life and early married bliss, he would say "it's okay, I have a sister" like that set the world rotating in the right direction again. The closest thing that I've ever had to a sister was Megan. So when Andrew and I got married, it was incredibly strange to me to think that I have a sister. Brother's I understood, I have one of those, but sister? That was an entirely different matter.

So, when Andrew's sister came back into town to visit for a bit and she asked for some pictures, I figured it would be not only a good way to do something that I do well for her, but also a good way to answer that question that I kept asking myself. The more I asked it, the more complicated it became. But as I was shooting my nieces, the answer became super simple: do it until you dont. I know, kinda riddle-me-this-Batman-like huh? But seriously, it seems like such a no-brainer answer to me now. Just shoot. If one day I like it and the next day I dont, then I'm no worse for wear.

Oh, and it's giveaway time! For anyone who, on their honor, can tell me who said the quote mentioned above, without searching on Google or through books gets a free iTunes gift card! Post your answer in the comments with your mailing address and the first person to get it right wins the musical goodness!

Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie

Rachel and Joel: The Sneak

With the typical Florida summer days of sporadic stormy hot weather rolling in this weekend, I thought I'd leave you a tantalizing sneak peak of a recent engagement session we had the pleasure of shooting. So, as Andrew and I sit around staring at each other trying to decide what we want to do this weekend {it's one of those rare weekends when we have absolutely nothing planned} enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!

Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie

Lizard-napping

I had two incredible friends growing up. They were creative, loving, unique, and we were inseparable growing up. We were the three amigos: myself, Zarah Bear, and Amanda Panda. That's what my dad called us as we would tromp around from house to house doing who knows what...and I, I was the ring leader. I was one of those bossy little kids when it came to my friends. I took charge and not only would I instruct that we were playing pretend, but that I was the main character and they were the sidekick or the prince. Yes, Zarah, I realize that I owe you hundreds and hundreds of apologies for always having to play the prince. Hundreds and thousands of apologies!

As we grew up, we saw each other less and less. We moved first, then Amanda's family, then Zarah's. Years later we all ended up along the Florida Panhandle area: Georgia for Amanda, Alabama for Zarah, and Florida for me. We all would treck to Alabama every Thanksgiving after that and spend the week together and those are some of my most amazing memories of my childhood. During that time, one unfortunate Thanksgiving...it happened. I dont know who started it...I dont know who's idea it was or which parental unit decided that it was a good idea to support, but someone started it.

I had a beanbag platypus that I took everywhere...I still have him, stored away in my hope chest. Zarah had a beanbag lizard which she kept in much better condition than my poor worn out little blue platypus. The short story? She stole my platypus and held it hostage. I stole her lizard and held it hostage. To this day, I dont remember who stole whose first, but the ransom notes began.

Zarah sent my traditional birthday gift, late...as is our tradition. Every year my birthday gift comes at least two weeks late and hers, well hers usually comes about a month late. I dont know if she intended to include those old ransom notes and Polaroids in the box with my gift, but I sat there and read them all, laughing at how horribly my spelling was and how lame my attempts at witty random notes are. So thank you, my dearest Zarah. Intentional or not, thank you for the trip down memory lane...and seriously, SO so sorry about the whole prince thing.

Dwell in Possibility...
Cassie

Monopoly

Growing up, I loved game night. sure, my brother and I sometimes made a big deal about it being on the worst possible night of our lives. or how we didnt want to play game X because we played game X last time. I'm pretty sure my brother and I argued more than we showed any real enjoyment, probably causing our parents to think that game night was quite possibly one of the worst nights ever invented. Which, looking back, may have been why all of a sudden game night disappeared. But growing up, I really did love game night. Specifically, I loved Monopoly...just not with my brother cause he cheated. Suddenly he'd end up with an extra stack of whatever money in the bankers box was closest to him...or he'd bump the board to mess up the pieces and then "put them back right where they were" when I very clearly remembered him not having a hotel on Virgina Avenue. Yes, we were those children.

But now, now I live with a husband who hates board games. Okay, so maybe he'll play them if enough people are over and they all want to play, but he hates them. "Board games are boring, hence the name" he always says. On the once in a blue moon chance that I can get him to play a board game, monopoly is never an option. Like, might risk our marriage never an option.

But I love Monopoly. Shocker of all shockers: I have the Wizard of Oz edition of Monopoly. Which side note, I've played once because apparently everyone hates Monopoly...sad, wrong, confused people! I would play with two of my friends for hours...we'd make salsa and go downstairs with the whole bowl, a bag of chips, a few sodas, eat candy and laugh and talk about anything and everything.

Today I want to play Monopoly. Today I will not be playing Monopoly. Maybe someday I can convince the world again that Monopoly is cool, that it's the best game ever...and maybe one day my husband will realize that board games are not boring!